Alternative Cuss Words

via Overwhelming

There are just “those” times in life when the actions of people around you cause you to have an overwhelming urge to spew vitriolic verbiage right in their faces.  And everyone at one time or another has faced a circumstance where events didn’t go as planned, or a sudden unexpected situation occurs, which elicits a sudden and overwhelming verbal response bordering on the profane.  The old preacher’s yarn is told, about this man of the cloth  while building a cabinet he hits his hand with a hammer, then shouts to the heavens, “verily, verily, I hit my thumb!”  I don’t think so.  Now, having grown up in west Texas, I’ve heard most of these phrases at one time or another, from good ole boys (and girls) who wanted to keep their reputation in tact, but also need to spew a little.  The sign says, “Field tested and Mother Approved” for a reason.  For your amusement, and possible usage, I’ve posted here from the Tim Hawkins Handbook: Alternative Cuss Words.

So when you’re feeling overwhelmed choose something from the list that fits the situation and go at it.  It’s called freedom of speech.  You have the freedom to express yourself in a way that may make someone else laugh, which might cause you to snicker, then giggle, then laugh at yourself.  Life’s too short, and your response to life’s frustration or crisis doesn’t have to be profane.

Romans 12:2   And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.



4 thoughts on “Alternative Cuss Words”

  1. Tim Hawkins is my favorite comedian. We’ve seen him live two different times. I’ve not seen this handbook but some of those expression are certainly in my regular vocabulary usage.


  2. These are particularly important to me right now. It’s been said since I was a kid that I could “Cuss the hat off a sailor.” Recently, I decided to “Clean up my mouth,” and practice several “Uncuss Words” daily, that includes the term “Underestimate Me? That’ll be fun!!” So, Mr. Hawkins, I think you are terrific – fantastic musician, wonderful comedian, and all around great person!!


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