Jukebox

I guess I never really understood the power of music.
Music meaning the sum total of meter, rhythm, melody, lyrics, instruments, vocals.
Every note a new heart stopping vibration touching the sinews of my soul.
Intention, motivation, desire wrapped around, into and through a simple lyric.
The soul of a cello, the siren song of a flute, the silence between the notes full of anticipation and fulfillment.
The hum of my computer hard drive, powering up when I send some “e”.
iTunes playing the latest in my “you’ve got to listen to this!” list.
Movement in the air from the Vornado on the far side of the room adding not just background noise, but ambience to every sound, thought, feeling.

My desk vibrates with the pounding subwoofer found lying on the floor, its base elements beating in my chest.
Keyboards and fingers, drumsticks and guitars, symbols, congas, altos and bases, long soul-full moans and tight fisted high notes.
It may be all in the mix, but for me it is a singular driving force that makes me think of you.

Melody.
The essence of the lyrics, and I can’t escape the emotion of wanting you more than ever before.
Closing my eyes only enhances the desire.

I can’t sleep because I dream of you.
I can’t eat because I’m not with you.
I can’t work because I find myself wanting to be with you.
The hours drag by until I can see you smiling at me again.

So what do I do?
I put another quarter in the Jukebox.

Swept away into a mystical far away place and suddenly we are … together.
Do you know what time it is?

It’s time to put another quarter in… the Jukebox.

Holding Toes

Hands were meant for holding it seems, and long have been the standard for acceptable public  displays of affection… holding hands.

Walking down the street.

Heading into the restaurant.

Watching the movie.

Waiting for your meal to be delivered to your table.

All these times of holding hands are special and wonderful events of simple love.

When observed from a nearby viewer who has no hand to hold, it could bring sadness or hope, but the hand-holders wouldn’t know.

But when we get back home.

When we are alone on the sofa.

Watching that favorite show, or movie, or listening to the Piano music on Spotify, that most intimate of times has arrived.

The time for holding toes.

You have beautiful toes.

I’ve said it many times, and it’s clear it may embarrass  you, but the fact remains, I love those toes.

When your neuropathy is overwhelming and I rub your feet, I pay attention to those toes.

When I’m pursuing your love, when I want to make it ultimately clear just how much I love you, I kiss those toes.

The amazing thing about toes is how important they are to how we move.

Dancing.  Posture.  Balance.  Walking, running, jumping.  All dependent on the toes.

I love watching you dance.

I love watching you walk, to me… and away from me.

I love how you glide across a room like a perfectly balanced high-wire tight-rope walker.

It makes my soul want to walk with you on the not-so-beaten path and see what none has seen before.

It makes my heart jump like the silly frog leaping from pad to pad in the pond.

It makes me want to run to you again and again and again.

I’ve said it over and over, until I’m sure you must tire of hearing it, but once again… I love your toes.

When we’re laughing, when we’re crying, watching that favorite show, when the lights around the pool have waned to just a faint glow… it is the touch of your toe that I crave.

That one last touch at night before I go off to sleep, that first hello as morning breaks again, it is the touch of your toe that I crave.

For me, forever, it will be… about… touching toes.

Faces

Some years ago it occurred to me that even though my life lacked romance and intimacy, that these were elements of my life I hoped would come to me one day. Using this as motivation, I wrote a series of free-form verses of poetry. Sometimes they rhyme, many times they don’t. Yet each conveys a yearning for something more… and I have finally found it. This is the first I’ll share, with a few more to come, until the love of my life says “that’s enough.” I’m not sure she ever will… for they reflect what I have found in her.

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Faces

The smile.
The frown.
Sadness.
Disbelief.
Comprehension.
Fear.
Doubt.
Peace.

Just a few of the faces I’ve seen.
All coming from one set of muscles designed to demonstrate unlimited tales of emotion.
The face.

Yours is beyond beautiful.
The lines of time in all the right places, enhancing your glow, casting spells on all who care to see.
The eyes, nose, cheeks, lips all perfectly placed, what a marvelous creation.
Each expression a diamond mine to explore until time is no more.
And even then, there would be no end to the joy that is your face.

Mine seems to be one dimensional compared to yours.
I lack the luster, and grace of the excitement of your eyes.
My nose just sits there whether I talk or listen.
Yours with all it’s tiny curls and twitches brings brilliance to every laugh, drama to every tear.
My lips too long have drawn taunt with frustration, anger, depression.
Yours always inviting conversation and the taste of life and love.

Why is it that women’s faces are always so beautiful, and men’s always so worn and chiseled?
It doesn’t seem fair until I realize one simple truth.
Men were never intended to look into mirrors.


They were created to look into the divine and bring him glory.
And to facilitate that end, God in his infinite wisdom gave man the greatest of all gifts.

The faces of the woman he loves.

Nothing

Perhaps the one command the Apostle Paul made we have the most trouble with is, “make yourself nothing.” I know there are those who will say, “Paul never said that!” Oh but he did. He wrote to the church in Philippi that they should “… have the same mindset as Jesus Christ;” (Philippians 2:5). So we have to look forward about what Paul says Jesus Christ’s mindset was. And it was this, “… he made Himself nothing…” (Philippians 2:7).

Now, there is a troubling thought. Our current cultural climate doesn’t even allow us to think about becoming nothing. You can’t invest nothing, you can’t deposit nothing in the bank. There is no self-esteem seminars for nothing filled nobodies. Nothings get laughed at, demeaned, or cancelled today.

But Paul says, “Jesus… made Himself nothing.” This was a willful choice emphasized by His actions. Think for a minute about what this means. All His divine rights and privileges, Jesus cast aside to become nothing… a nothing like you or me… human. How do you measure the height of this descending concept? The distance between God and man has been the subject of thousands of books, movies, plays or poems. But it cannot be measured.

The Creator of all things, of energy, animals, mankind and the universes of heaven, chooses to empty Himself and become nothing, so I can be something. Jesus subjects Himself to obedience as a human child to say, “Yes Dad, and ok Mom.” Jesus gives up the relentless praise of all the heavenly angels, to hear only the constant ridicule of the Jews and humanity. Jesus Christ leaves heaven for earth for a singular purpose and end. The Cross of Calvary.

As if that were not enough, in making this choice, Jesus moves from sinless to sin-filled… filled by the sins of all mankind before and after Him, facing the raging wrath of God’s anger toward sin. But we have to remember something here. Jesus was not forced to do this. He wasn’t coerced or blackmailed. This action was an intentional and conscious decision made in an unwavering commitment to the will of God.

Jesus chose a life of giving Himself away, serving those who followed Him, losing His life on a cross, and dying for all of humanity. He made Himself “nothing.”

This is a hard teaching from scripture and goes against human nature, conventional wisdom, and cultural logic around the globe. Yet, it is what Paul demands that we adopt as our own mindset if we are true Christ-followers. Anyone, any teacher, preacher, or Sunday School leader who has suggested the Christian life is easy, may need to rethink the teaching of Philippians 2, and the call to “nothingness.”

It makes no sense to the lost world. It makes no sense to the religious community. It is non-sense to most people today. But to the true Christ-follower, by the authority of the Apostle Paul, given to him by Jesus Himself, this is a command, not an option. Maybe, this command is challenging you today to rethink everything you’ve ever been taught about what it means to follow Christ. Especially in a world ravaged by the politically motivated, power-hungry “somebodies” who want to tell you what to believe, how to act, what you can and cannot say. Does a nobody even have a voice?

Adopting the mindset of Jesus Christ will speak louder than any silver-tongued politician who thinks themself “somebody” when they are the real “nobodies” when compared to Jesus the Savior.

Trust Him. Follow Him. Descend with Him, into nothing.